SpiderMan 3 and a half
by Hashimerr
Summary: A mix of the Spider Man movies with my own ideas thrown in. YAY Chapter update!
1. Peter, Eddie, and Harry

-Peter's House-

(Peter sits at the table when Eddie walks into the living room.)

Eddie: Um…Peter?

Peter: Yeah?

Eddie: …Are you Spider-man?

Peter: Hell no! Why would you even ask me that?!

Eddie: Because, I found this in the bathroom.

(Eddie pulls out a Spider-man suit.)

Peter: …oh…um…I'm just washing his outfit, he-

Eddie: Bullshit. I'm not stupid Peter.

Peter: You aren't?!

Eddie: Very funny. Now admit it! You are Spider-man!

Peter: Okay, okay. I'm Spider-man. Please don't tell anyone! If you haven't noticed, I'm trying to keep this a secret.

Eddie: Don't worry, I won't tell…if you give me 20 dollars…

Peter: WHAT!? No…

Eddie: I wonder who would like to find out first. Maybe Jameson would get a few good laughs from this…

Peter: -stands up- Okay! Here's 20 dollars…bitch…

Eddie: -takes the money- What?

Peter: Nothing…

Eddie: Wow, blackmailing you is making me tired. Let's go get ice cream at Wal-Mart!

Peter: YAY! Wal-Mart is the best! We could-

Eddie: Shut up and let's go!

(Eddie and Peter go to Wal-Mart. When they get there, they see Harry in the cologne isle.)

Peter: Holy crap! Harry!?

Harry: Peter? Goddamnit! I knew that we went to the same Wal-Mart as each other!

Peter: -sarcastically- I can't believe that I ever denied it…anyways, what are you here for?

Harry: Oh, I just wanted to see if this Axe cologne stuff really worked.

Eddie: Trust me, it doesn't.

Harry: Oh, well, I still want to see how it smells.

(Harry sprays on the cologne.)

Harry: It smells…okay…

Peter: -snatches the cologne away from Harry- Are you done yet because we were just on our way to pick up some ice cream.

Harry: Ice cream?! I love ice cream! I'll get some too!

Peter: Copycat…

(Peter, Harry, and Eddie go to the frozen food isle.)

Eddie: Ah yes…cookies and cream.

Peter: More like cookies and ass! Let's get Butter Pecan!

Eddie: But I'm allergic to Pecans!

Peter: Exactly…

Harry: I know! Let's get Butter Pecan!

Peter: I just said that!

Harry: Oh…well, let's get the vanilla with the chocolate mixed in with it.

Eddie: No! I'm allergic to chocolate!

Harry: If you're allergic to chocolate, then why do you want cookies and cream?

Eddie: Okay. I'm not really allergic to chocolate; it's just that I don't want that type of ice cream.

Peter: How about we just get plain vanilla?

Harry: How about you just take that plain vanilla and shove it right up your-

Eddie: Wait, listen! Do you hear that?

(Everyone stops and listen. They hear a crowd of people running toward them.)

Peter: What the fuck…

Eddie: Is that…is that a bunch of women racing toward us?

Peter: It is!

Harry: Oh my God! Don't you understand? They're coming for me!

Peter: Yeah right. Who would come for you?

Harry: No, seriously. Remember when I sprayed that cologne on me a few minutes ago?

Eddie: I've already told you, that shit does not work!

Peter: Well, tell that to the crowd of girls chasing after Harry.

Eddie: What!

(Eddie and Peter look over to see Harry running from a few dozen women.)

Harry: Holy crap! Save me!

One of the girls chasing Harry: Bow chicka wah-wow!

(Harry runs out of Wal-Mart.)

Eddie: Damn…guess I was wrong…

Peter: Poor Harry. Should we help him?

Eddie: Yea… after ice cream.

(Eddie walks away and Peter quickly grabs some Butter Pecan ice cream. Back at Harry's house, Harry comes busting through the front door.)

Harry: -breathing hard- Holy shit…I can't believe that just happened.

Bernard: Mr. Osborn, there is a crowd of screaming girls outside. I-…sir, where are your pants?

Harry: Please don't ask…

Bernard: Okay…

Harry: Can you do me a quick favor?

Bernard: Yes sir?

Harry: Can you start the shower up for me?

Bernard: Right away.

(Bernard goes upstairs and turns on the shower. Harry goes to his room.)

Harry: Maybe if I take a shower, I can get this smell of off me and I'll be able to go outside.

(Harry begins to take off his clothes when he suddenly hears a voice.)

Voice: Harry…Harry…

Harry: -turns around- What, who's there?! Who said that!?

Voice: Harry…you know what you have to do…

(Harry grabs a towel and runs in the bathroom.)

Harry: -sighs- At least I can't hear that weird ass voice anymore.

Bernard: -from outside the door- Mr. Osborn, your shower is ready… also, please try not to drown in there like last time….

Harry: Okay, thanks!

(Harry is about to step into the shower until he notices something in the mirror.)

Harry: -looking into the mirror- Oh damn! I'm sexy as hell! I wonder why I didn't notice this before…

(Harry begins to smile and make poses in the mirror when he hears that voice again.)

Voice: Harry! Stop joking around and listen to me!

Harry: What!? –He looks up into the mirror- What the-DAD!?

Norman: Yes son, it's me.

Harry: But- I thought you where dead!

Norman: I am. But I'm alive in you.

Harry: …um…what does that supposed to mean?

Norman: Just be quite and listen! Are you not aware that your so called 'friend' Peter is Spider-man?

Harry: Well…now I am.

Norman: He was the one who killed me!

Harry: Holy crap…that bastard!

Norman: Yes, and now you know what you must do!

Harry: …um…get in the shower before the water gets cold?

Norman: No! You must kill Peter Parker!

Harry: But, but, but-he's my friend!

Norman: Would your 'friend' kill your father?

Harry: Um…I don't know. That's what I would do…

Norman: -sighs- Harry just kill Peter.

Harry: Okay.

(Harry just stands there for a moment while looking at Norman.)

Norman: Well, what are you waiting for?!

Harry: Dad! I can't take a shower with you still here!

Norman: -sighs- Whatever!

(Norman disappears from the mirror. Harry just stands there looking shocked.)

Harry: Damn…I can't believe I have to…kill Peter. But-no! He killed my father! I shouldn't think of it as 'killing Peter' but I should think of it as 'killing Spider-man.' Yeah…

(Harry gets in the shower and beings to form a plan. Back at Peter's house, he and Eddie are eating ice cream.)


	2. Revenge

**-----Okay, let's see if I can do a little better with this chapter-----**

Peter: Here –He hands Eddie a bowl-

Eddie: Well, after all that we just went through to get the ice cream, I don't even want it anymore.

Peter: What! Come on Eddie, just please eat the ice cream!

Eddie: Why do you want me to eat it so badly?!

Peter: Because…ice cream is good?

Eddie: Yeah right, for all I know, you probably pissed in it.

Peter: No I didn't! I just think that since you helped get the ice cream, that you should eat some too.

Eddie: …Seriously?

Peter: Seriously.

Eddie: Okay, I guess so…

(Eddie eats the ice cream.)

Peter: So, what do you think?

Eddie: It's…good! I don't ever remember eating this flavor. What is it?

Peter: Oh, it's just my favorite flavor…butter pecan…

Eddie: -drops the bowl- Peter, please tell me this is a joke…

Peter: Nope. So, do you like it?

Eddie: P-peter! I'm allergic to pecans!

Peter: You were serious about that! I thought you just said that because you didn't want butter pecan ice cream!

Eddie: -coughing- No! I gotta go!

(Eddie runs out of Peter's house.)

Peter: Holy crap! Maybe I should go help Eddie...after ice cream.

(Peter finishes the rest of his ice cream. He waits for a few hours and leaves to Eddie's house.)

-Outside- Nighttime

Peter: -reaches into his pocket- What the…is this that stupid cologne that Harry had in Wal-Mart! Why the hell did I take it from him? Oh well, as long as I don't spray it, I don't have to worry about anyone chasing after me.

(Peter puts the spray back in his pocket when suddenly his Spider-sense goes off and he realizes that someone is approaching quickly.)

Peter: -turns around- Holy crap!

(Someone punches him into a nearby empty park.)

Peter: …ow…was that someone riding a floating snowboard wearing a paintball outfit?

(Peter looks closer at the person floating about him.)

Peter: Is that…no-it can't be!

Person: That's right Peter.

Peter: HARRY! Hot damn! What do you think you're doing?!

Harry: You shouldn't act so surprised, besides, you knew this was coming Pete!

(Harry takes out a pumpkin bomb and is about to throw it.)

Peter: WHAT!? I never knew this was coming! That thought never even crossed my mind!

Harry: -drops the pumpkin bomb- Wait, what? You mean that you never thought of me coming back as a cool, strong, super villain who is getting revenge on you for killing my father?!

Peter: Well…I knew that you would probably get revenge because you THINK that I killed your father, but I never imagined you being cool or strong.

Harry: Oh…well, um...

(Harry is standing there thinking.)

Peter: Okay…bye Harry!

(Peter swings away.)

Harry: Damn it! Get back here!

(Harry catches up to Peter and they begin to fight in the sky. After they fight for a few more minutes, Peter and Harry land in front of a crowed building.)

Peter: -stops fighting and starts running away- (In his mind: Crap! I can't use my powers in front of all of these people! I'll have to figure out another way to get Harry away from me!)

(As Peter is running, Harry throws a razor bat at his feet.)

Peter: -falls- Ow! I fell on that stupid cologne in my pocket!

Harry: -grabs a pumpkin bomb- There's nothing to help you now! Good-bye Pete!

Peter: -looks at the spray then looks at Harry- I hope this works!

(Peter unscrews the top off of the cologne and throws the bottle at Harry.)

Harry: -looks down at his outfit- Why would you throw that at me?! That won't do anything!

Peter: -smirking- I have three words for you. Look out behind you Harry.

Harry: What?

(Harry turns around and sees all of the girls who were standing by the building chasing after him.)

Peter: HA HA HA HA!

Harry: -flying away on the glider- Peter, I swear I'll get you back for this!

Peter: -still laughing- ah…whatever.

(Peter just walks away laughing. He goes back to the empty park and sits on a bench.)

Peter: -sighs- That was awesome but…now I'm tired out. I think that I'll just rest on this bench for a while.

(Peter leans on the bench and begins to doze off. Moments later, a small rock falls from the sky and lands in the park. Something black begins to ooze from the rock and it slides up the bench and onto Peter's back.)


	3. The worst day ever

**Hi Everyone! After a long wait, I've decided to finish this story and not totally abandon it. Big thanks to LORD commodore Norry because I probably wouldn't have finished the story if it wasn't for her and others who sent me e-mails about continuing it! THANKS! XD**

(On the other side of town, a man escapes from prison and is running from the police.)

Officer: The criminal is heading into a chemical testing facility!

Officer 2: The suspect has been recognized as Flint Marko!

(The police continue to pursue him until he jumps inside of a hole in the ground.)

Flint: -looks up- What the-what is this place?!

(He looks up to see a big metal object spinning around about him. Back inside of the testing facility, some of the scientists are starting up a machine.)

Scientist 1: Subject is in place. Now starting the process.

Scientist 2: The scanners show that something just fell inside of the testing area.

Scientist 1: It's probably just a bird. It'll fly away once we start up the machine.

Scientist 2: But, what if it's a person? He would have a serious reaction to the sand testing project!

(Scientist 1 turns around and slaps scientist 2 in the face.)

Scientist 1: Look, I said start the damn machine! Whatever I say, you have to do it because I'm scientist number one and you're number two! Got it!?

Scientist 2: -crying- Y-yes s-sir!

(Scientist 2 starts up the machine. The large metal contraption over Flint's head starts to drop down and spin even faster. He tries to escape, but he immediately gets caught up in the force of the spin.)

Flint: Nooo! HELP!

Scientist 2: Do you hear someone screaming?

Scientist 1: No, but you're about to hear the sound of my foot up your ass! Turn the machine up higher!

(Scientist 2 turns the machine up higher. Flint looks down and notices that his body is starting to break apart, mixing in with the sand. Minutes later, the machine stops. Flint is gone.)

Scientist 1: -looks at the machine- See, no one was in there. Besides, even if there was some guy in there, it's not like he's gonna turn into some man made out of sand and try to rob banks and terrorize the city.

Scientist 2: Okay, whatever you say…

Scientist 1: Now, let's leave and come back later to see the results of our testing.

(Both of the scientists leave the testing facility. Hours pass, and its morning time. The sand from the machine starts to move and form into the shape of a man.)

Flint: -stands up- What just happened? My head is killing me.

(Flint rubs his head and a piece of it falls of and turns into sand.)

Flint: Oh my God! My head! I-I'm…made of sand…

(Flint begins to reform his head. He tries to take control of the sand and leave the testing facility.)

Flint: -smirks- This is going to be…interesting.

(Flint steps out of the testing area and leaves the facility.)

(On the other side of town, Peter is rushing to his job at the Daily Bugle.)

Peter: (In his mind: I can't believe I fell asleep on that bench! I hope that I'm not late!)

Betty: Peter, you're late.

Peter: Damn!

Betty: You'd better hurry up and get into Jameson's office. Some guy is trying to get your job.

Peter: What?!

(Betty buzzes Peter into Jameson's office. He looks around and sees JJ talking to someone.)

Peter: Eddie?!

Jameson: Parker! You're late! Mr. Edwin Brown over here is trying to get you're job, and I just might give it to him!

Eddie: Um, my name is Eddie Brock and Peter….I didn't know that you worked here!

Peter: Eddie, that's my job that you're after!

Eddie: -gives Peter a mad look- Well, you at least owe me that much after you made me spend the night in a hospital when you gave me that butter pecan ice cream!

Peter: Look, it was just a joke and I said that I was sorry!

Eddie: No you didn't! I almost died! My throat swelled up and I couldn't breath! The doctor was looking at me like I was an asshole when I told him that I ate something that I was allergic too!

Peter: Now, wait a minute! I-

Jameson: Look, as much as I'd like to sit here and watch you argue, we need to talk about business! Mr. Black-

Eddie: You mean, Mr. Brock.

Jameson: Yeah that's what I said, Mr. Blue. Anyways, I'll give you the new staff job if you can get a picture of Spider-Man caught in the act.

Peter: Caught in the act?!What's that supposed to mean?

Eddie: Duh you retard, it means that we have to get a picture of you- I mean- him doing something bad.

Jameson: That's exactly right! If one of you can get a picture of that, then the staff job is yours!

(Eddie and Peter stare at each other with a mad look for a few minutes.)

Jameson: -looks at Eddie then Peter- Well what are you waiting for, leap year? Go, go, go!

(Peter and Eddie leave Jameson's office and they go outside.)

Eddie: Peter, I hope you know that I don't give up easily.

Peter: So?

Eddie: -stops walking- Peter, have you forgotten about the whole, 'me knowing that you're Spider-Man' thing?

Peter: Huh! N-no, of course I didn't. (In his mind: Damn, I forgot!)

Eddie: -smirks- This picture should be easy to get.

(Eddie walks away from Peter.)

Peter: (In his mind: I can't believe that I totally forgot about the fact that Eddie know that I'm Spider-Man! This is-is…total bullsh-)

Mary Jane: Peter!

Peter: M-Mary Jane!

(Mary Jane hugs Peter.)

Mary Jane: Soooo, I hope you haven't forgotten about my show tonight.

Peter: Of course not! I wouldn't miss it for the world! (In his mind: Holy crap! I forgot about that too!)

Mary Jane: Sorry for the unexpected meeting, but I'm on my way to practice for the show tonight and I seen you standing here so I just thought that I would pay you a little visit. Well, bye Peter!

Peter: Bye Mary Jane!

(Mary Jane goes running off.)

Peter: Aw man. First I have to worry about competing for my own job, then I have to try to make it to Mary Jane's show, I have a super bad feeling that the town's gonna get attacked by someone at any minute, and to top it all off, I have to fulfill my duties as Spider-Man! This is the worst day ever, so I don't understand how anything else could go wrong.

Random guy standing next to Peter: Did you just say that you were Spider-Man?

Peter: Errr, uhhh, n-no! Of course not, why would you even say something like that!?

Random guy: Well sorry! I was just askin a question…

(Peter begins to walk away.)

Peter: I have got to stop talking to myself out loud. I'm becoming like Harry…wait a minute, HARRY! I forgot all about him! I haven't heard from him ever since that one night he attacked me. I'd better go see what's up.

(Peter rushes off to Harry's house.)


End file.
